It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
