is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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