the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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