You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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