pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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