she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
