I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
