5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
