this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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