Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
