i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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