You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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