duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
