Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
