listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
