yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
