u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
