conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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