we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
