Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
