is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
