all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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