We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
