this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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