I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
