Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
