Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
