2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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