Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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