had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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