Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
