Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
