What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize