I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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