walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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