I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize