you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
