I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
