come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
