dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
