Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
