I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
