never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
