u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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