I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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