How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
