Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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