I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
