I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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