I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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