My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
