His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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