If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
