I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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