U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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