Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
