Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
