You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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