Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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