he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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