Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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