I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There are leaves in my underwear?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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