You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
