Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
