Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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