The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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