In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
