So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
